The saying is “a friend in need is a friend indeed;” or is it “a friend indeed is a friend in need.” Either way someone is in need. But the thing about someone being in need is that it is the norm for some of them. Haven’t you known or have that one friend who is always experiencing some type of issue. They call and ask for help, or when you happen to talk to them they mention that they are in a bind. You help them out, thinking that they are put on the road to salvation. But then something always happens. Then they are in a bind again and need help.
They call you and say, can you help me with so and so; but what they’re asking you to do this time around, you had bad experience with helping another toxic friend. You say no, you can’t do it because doing so will put you in a bind. But they persist, they do things to cajole you into doing things that you don’t want to do just to help them out.
The cajoling comes in many forms. While they are sucking up your energy and taking up your valuable time; they prey on your emotions; they put you on trips, telling you how much they appreciate you, that god will bless you, that they can’t do it without your help in hand, that they will re-pay you in some form. If that doesn’t move you then they will switch up to the guilt rides; saying that it would be your fault how they will end up if you don’t give them the resources that they need to get out of their latest bind.
Deep down in your gut, you know that what they are asking for will give you problems in the long run. Even if your needy friend puts up some type of tangible collateral for security hoping it will guarantee that they won’t mess up. But you know it is their nature to mess up, they always do and whatever collateral they put up won’t help you salvaging your name or credit or repetition that your needy friend just devalued.
Let’s say you go against your better judgement and cave in and when the dust is settled, everything takes place that you knew would happen. The needy friend cannot help you, hell the needy friend won’t give a dam about your predicament that they created because at the end of the day, they really don’t respect you because they know that they can cajole you whenever they want and they’re gonna be calling the next time they mess up and need help. It is only a matter of time.
Books by True_George
I’ve been there, but not recently. You learn from experience. Sooner or later you have a reverse Scrooge epiphany.
I still show kindness to people on occasion, but much more selectively.
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I’m afraid it doesn’t usually work on me (unless it’s a really long-term genuine friend who isn’t asking all the time) as I’m just too selfish!
That’s good; that makes you strong.
For me people have taken advantage of my good nature. I kind of had to experience the fall out I made to help someone out. People who I described really don’t care about you. They will only see if they can use you one way or another. I purged those types of people out of my life. I could smell the stench of them a mile away.
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